So, yesterday... I watched Mary( my little sister.), but to top it off. I woke up, after having three extreme dreams. One was moderate... It was your, so to say... Average ' falling in love dream ', can't do it in real life... Might as well dream it? Heh. So I have two other dreams, which I am thinking I will write two short stories about, or atleast jot them down, because... they were so vivid. I woke up after the one, thinking that I had been shot in the chest, I held my hand up expecting to have blood on my hands. I felt as if I had been shot, sick thing is, now that I think about it... Where I would have been shot in the one dream, on my back, it hurt, its still abit sore... The exit wound so to say... I JUST NOW, thought of that... Hmm. But, anyways. I watched Mary until about 5.PM, and then my dad came home. Brett came over, and we went to Derek's. Then we went to get food, and picked up Andrew. Then we went back to Derek's after we got Andrew more food. And then we went to Brad's house. We stayed there until about 8 or 9 something, then we went to my house and I got my stuff and then we went back to Brad's and we stayed up all night... We were in the hot tub for a lot of the night.
We watched Predator. I must say... Predator is one of my favorite movies of all time. I didn't realize how good it was until I re-watched it, for what, the 300th time? Haha. But it is an amazing movie. I am not so excited to see the new one because... Well the guy that directed it is a douche. But anyways, great movie.
So then we went back out into the hot tub, and we talked. A lot, I described my dreams to them,... and I am not sure how they responded... They just kinda looked at me like, ' wow ' type thing. Andrew might remember more, or comment on this when he reads it. But, yeah... Then, for along time now, I've been thinking I havn't had dreams, I guess I have been just repressing them, I don't sleep often, because my dreams are not happy, they havn't been happy for along time now... Often, my dreams are of me, dying. Its always the ' wake up when you die ', sometimes, I see myself dead... and what happens after I die. I am not sure how to think of this all, and what to feel. But I guess its why I am so 'unhappy', and angry. And often feeling 'sad'. But, I guess its better than what I use to have, I use to dream about the one I use to love dying. It was a dream, that I would get a lot, and for the first time I told someone about it. And, it was one of those things, where I dreamed, and no matter what I did, the person died. I could have the dream a thousand times, at a differnt place, with differnt events. But it'd end up the same way each time. They would die. I guess I prefer to see myself die than someone I care about dying. Often, I have dreams about me 'fighting', in a battle or in a fire-fight. And I get shot, or killed in some manner. Not even heroic or 'good' so to say. In one, that I remembered, I was ran over by a tank... Its too long to explain right now because this post is going on pretty long. But yeah... And if it wasn't a vivid dream, then I would have a dream about me being killed, or, I guess. Demons.... How these 'dreams' occured, I dunno, I dunno why they happen. But... Its never, a story line, or even semi-plotted. Its like, staring into the darkness, and just sudden flashes of something horrid pop up and go. They come and go throughout the night and I toss and turn and what not and I don't get sleep. I often lay in bed at night, just... thinking. Or, I guess fearing to sleep, but not letting myself know that. I do not know. But, I often dream, where its so in depth, that I can feel, I can smell... I can be there. I don't remember many dreams feeling so real... Its like tripping, so it seems... But while I lay in my bed with my eyes closed.
I doubt, I fucking doubt, seeing myself being killed, has to do with sexual stuff like Frued says, or however you spell his fucking lame-ass name. I am not in the mood to get his name right. I highly doubt that me being shot in the head by a 7.62mm sniper round has to deal with me getting laid by some chick or something. You can over analyze it, and turn it into something sexual... But, thats if you wanna be a perverted fuck. You can turn anything into something perverted. Urgh... Anyways, I got side tracked... Haha. But, it was a very interesting night. I do not know what to think of things right now...
All I know, is I wanna get some of these things:
-Another pair of East German Jack boots. ( So I have one pair for play, and one for professional use... haha )
-A differnt pair of military suspenders.
-Flakvest. -Some new knives.
-Thigh holster ( just for show. )
-A new cell phone.
haha, I had more... But I kinda forgot them over time... Meh, ohwell.
I think I am gonna go watch a movie, or lay and listen to music. Maybe even go watch cartoons with my sister after I fix her something to eat. I need to pay more attention to her, I feel I have been niglecting her too much, even though shes a brat to me now because shes at the age of. ' I will tell mom and dad, even if you didn't do anything wrong. Because you are not the boss of me. ' type deal.